Funny how a song can make me write again. The song covers all the aspects of a happy college romance — the rush of someone telling you they’re crazy about you, the casual but completely smitten-in-love dance moves, the cool way the girl chooses to say yes — all while doing complete justice to the groovy music in the background. Darshana, named after the actual female protagonist, repeats over and over. Not unlike many other film songs which evangelized now popular names like Anjali, Priya, and many more.
But something is special about this video. Maybe because Darshana is a singer like me too? It feels warm to see her happy, singing, dancing, running, and completely thrilled. It’s a feeling that is not only associated with romantic love, but also with other relationships where someone just “gets” you, and appreciates you for who you are. This can be your spouse, best friend, child, parent or an colleague. The feeling is so liberating and empowering that you feel you can accomplish anything in this whole wide world.
Usually, this feeling is tightly coupled with a strong urge to do anything the other person wants to make them better, feel happy or feel comfortable. I’ve also seen people exhibit this trait for other non-living things that they’re passionate about — their work, a DIY project at home, a specific topic.
I’ve come to believe in a pattern — we humans like to attach a part of us to something else. Something that we can help make better, something that imbibes our very own nature into itself, something that seems to “get” us, something with which we can just be ourselves.
We work so hard everyday to earn money, build relationships, maintain our health and create the life we envision. But in the midst of all this, how often are we truly ourselves? How often are we version of us that is capable of accomplishing anything?
Now, I understand we need to improve and grow and that means we need to change and adapt to new environments. But in that process, I’ve found that many times, I lose myself. And finding my way back usually needs me to reflect, meditate and write. It’s a lot of work. But when I do find myself again, like I did today, it’s beautiful. Like an old school reunion that reminds me of everything that makes me amazing. After all, it did take several years for me to realize things about myself that are actually strengths that I once considered weaknesses.
The question I grapple with is this — in times where I feel too far away from myself, how do I find my way back more easily? How do I not rely on a music composer to come up with a “Darshana” to kindle that spark again? What if the person, pet, project or job that “gets” me isn’t around? What if the I’m currently not thriving but just surviving? How do I bring that sense of self in me by will?
The secret is — doing something new. I’ve tried going back to memories, talking to people, going back to hobbies I love. They all work occasionally. But one thing that ALWAYS works is trying something new. The new neurons firing bring my body and mind back from the rut. The act of trying something new makes my body look deep within and find “me”. I zone out and come back stronger. More connected to myself and more confident that what I've attached myself to so far in life isn’t all there is to me.
Darshana was a new song that made me feel myself again. Tomorrow it’ll be something else. Don’t ever think there isn’t anything new out there to try, because there always is. And you might not even have to spend money to experience something new in many instances :)
In some ways, I think this beautiful poem by Rose Milligan also says the same thing — You can choose to dust the old and revive it if you must, but embracing new things will make you feel so much more alive and connected to life. The last stanza is striking and always reminds me of the impermanence of life. Life will not always be the way you know it, so make the most of today. Make the most of you.
Dust If You Must by Rose Milligan
Dust if you must, but wouldn’t it be better
To paint a picture, or write a letter,
Bake a cake, or plant a seed;
Ponder the difference between want and need?
Dust if you must, but there’s not much time,
With rivers to swim, and mountains to climb;
Music to hear, and books to read;
Friends to cherish, and life to lead.
Dust if you must, but the world’s out there
With the sun in your eyes, and the wind in your hair;
A flutter of snow, a shower of rain,
This day will not come around again.
Dust if you must, but bear in mind,
Old age will come and it’s not kind.
And when you go (and go you must)
You, yourself, will make more dust.
For those of you who made it to the end and are wondering what on earth is this Darshana, here is the link. I felt like myself and wanted to share my recipe with you too. I hope it was worth your time! Thank you 😊